Actually no, the more I think about it, the more I want to educate you and hopefully create one less ignorant bigoted idiot in the world.
So, here’s the anonymous message I received:
"Gay by definition is different & gay male IS bad (read misogyny, child molestation is majority men on boy, & gay males are 60+% of HIV and only 4% of the population) people of any type are entitled to an opinion if they are respectful & compassionate to others,privileged or marginalized.If the homophobes & the queer pop r both h8ful @ssholes to compassionate respectful people in the middle the status quo will continue.If they respectfully participate in the marketplace of ideas society moves fwd"
I already replied saying i don’t have time for this shit but i decided to pick it apart.
"Gay by definition is different"
By whose definition, may I ask? The Merriam-Webster definition states, “gay (adj): sexually attracted to someone who is the same sex.” Nothing in that definition says or implies “different.” Granted, I’ll give you that gay people are different than straight people in that they’re attracted to the same sex as opposed to the opposite sex, but there’s nothing inherently negative about that. Also, I think it’s really ironic, because the prefix “homo-” actually means “same”, while the prefix “hetero-” means different. HA
"& gay male IS bad"
That is entirely a matter of subjective opinion, and it’s really, really sad that you think that. Homosexuality is not a lifestyle choice. It’s a sexual preference, which is something you can’t change, just as much as you can’t change your own heterosexuality or your race. And if you think someone is bad because of something entirely out of their control, I think that makes you the bad person.
Also, why did you feel the need to include the word “male”? Is gay female okay to you, while gay male is bad? Why is that? Is it because lesbians don’t make you as “uncomfortable” as gay males do, because lesbians are hot and eroticized? fuck off.
"Misogyny (noun): hatred of women" (source: Merriam-Webster) I don’t see where you get this one from, because have you met a gay guy who doesn’t love girls and girl things? I’m kidding. That’s a stereotype that definitely doesn’t represent the whole gay population, but really, this is such an irrelevant comment. Sexual attraction to the same sex does not in any way equate to hatred of women…
"child molestation is majority men on boy,"
While I’d like to see your sources for that, I don’t entirely doubt you. But that’s also completely irrelevant because pedophilia is not the same as homosexuality. (pedo: children, philia: unnatural attraction). The fact that a man is attracted to men is entirely separate from attraction to children.
"& gay males are 60+% of HIV and only 4% of the population)"
Though you didn’t quote your sources, I see similar statistics on aids.gov. However, this is also an irrelevant point that doesn’t effect you at all whatsoever or contribute to your farfetched notion that gay=bad. That statistic is tragic, and most likely due to lack of sex education for young gay males. The fact that a lot of society thinks in the (shitty) way you do, means that young gay males are too ashamed to talk about safer sex practices with adult figures in their lives.
"people of any type are entitled to an opinion if they are respectful & compassionate to others,privileged or marginalized."
Okay, everyone is “entitled to an opinion” (in America at least, via First Amendment, you can’t be imprisoned for speaking your idiot opinion) but that doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t share it in some cases. I’m entitled to have the opinion that I dislike someone’s outfit or hair or face for instance, but saying it would obviously have negative consequences. And the whole deal about privileged vs. marginalized that you’re referring to, I’m guessing from my “privileged ignorance” tumblr post, I really don’t think you got the point. Of course you’re allowed to fucking speak your shitty opinion, that’s the whole point of having privilege. But if you’re coming from a place of privilege (i.e., white, straight, male, cisgender, abled, middle to high SES, etc.) then speaking up about your opinions on the respective marginalized community is downright ignorant and rude. As a male, you have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, so interjecting your opinion about woman’s issues is not your place. Of course you’re ALLOWED to do that but that’s just a shitty thing to do. Same goes for all the other privileges. So what I was telling that guy was, as a straight guy, it’s rude and unthoughtful and ignorant to declare your opinion about a young lesbian girl. And go on, tell me now how you can be “respectful and compassionate to others” if you’re telling someone of a marginalized community what you think is right and wrong for them to do?!
"If the homophobes & the queer pop r both h8ful @ssholes to compassionate respectful people in the middle the status quo will continue."
I don’t understand where this is coming from? Who are these “compassionate respectful people in the middle”? You’re either a homophobe, or you’re not. And this isn’t two sides of a debate where both sides are right in different ways.. this is a matter of hate vs. acceptance. “Homophobe (noun): a person who hates or is afraid of homosexuals or treats them badly”. There’s no situation in which hate towards an entire population (again, it’s not a choice, so it’s hate towards a group of people with a particular trait) is okay. And admittedly, members of the queer community can be hateful. But is this not justified? If you were marginalized, hated, and discriminated against based on something out of your control, would you not be sad and scared and angry at the world, reason enough to be a hateful person? Hatred from the queer community is also hatred towards an attitude (homophobia), not hatred towards an uncontrollable aspect of a person.
"If they respectfully participate in the marketplace of ideas society moves fwd"
Again, this isn’t a right vs. right debate, where we can come to some compromise in the middle. This is an issue of granting a community basic fucking human rights. Society doesn’t move “fwd” until everyone is accepting of everyone, and doesn’t treat one another differently based on things out of their control.
I hope you rethink what you said and learn a thing or two.
(potential trigger warning)
I want to live in a world where I don’t have to be scared to walk down the street alone at night. I want to live in a place where my choice of clothing is not an invitation to be objectified. A place where the first question asked to a victim of sexual assault isn’t “were you drinking?” “were you alone?” or worst of all, “what were you wearing?” A place where it doesn’t take a serious incidence of gang rape for the community to realize that sexual assault is a real issue. I want to live in a world where sexual assault ISN’T an issue.
"Rape" and "culture" are two words that should never be used together. "Rape culture" should NEVER be a thing. That phrase is disgusting. Tragically, though, that is the culture we live in, and we have to face that reality by teaching girls to carry pepper spray and take self-defense lessons and dress modestly and travel in groups, because god forbid if something were to happen to a girl, she must have been unprepared or done something wrong or have been "asking for it" somehow.
We put so much time, effort, and money into teaching girls how to avoid being sexually assaulted and be safe, putting more lighting in the streets, and increasing our police force. While this is great and is definitely a step forward, how about we take a different approach? Start teaching us (boys, girls and everyone else alike) that a lonely, drunk, “slutty” girl on the street is not an “opportunity” or a “target” to take advantage of? Teach us that “I/she/he was drunk” is never an excuse for sexual violence?
Continuing to perpetuate the idea that women need to be prepared in case of attack (which is always a good preventative measure, i’m definitely not encouraging otherwise) simultaneously perpetuates the idea that sexual violence just happens. That it’s okay, and it’s a normal thing that you can expect if you’re UNprepared. And gives potential sexual offenders the idea that their victims deserved it, because they weren’t making good decisions.
STOP RAPE CULTURE. Stop blaming victims of sexual assault for their attack, as if it’s not already traumatizing enough. Stop slut-shaming, as if a girl’s sexuality or choice of outfit dehumanizes her in any way. Stop the bullshit.
(p.s. I don’t want to disregard the fact that anyone can be a victim of sexual violence, men included, but a vast majority of cases, including the two of this past weekend on our campus, are committed by a man/men on a woman.)
for my research psych class we have to participate in research experiments for the professors and grad students at my school. i thought this would be a great scenario to write a porn scene about.
you walk into the psychology building, 4 minutes to 2, slightly nervous about your participation in this experiment. it’s titled “the effects of video on arousal” but the experimenters offered no description, so you don’t know what to expect. usually these experiments have several participants in the same time slot but this time you wait alone in a silent, windowless hallway with flickering fluorescent lights.
when the clock strikes 2, a small brunette girl with glasses dressed in a lab coat opens a door. you guess that she’s about 22.
"hey, are you here for ‘the effects of video on arousal’?" she asks.
"yes i am." you reply.
"okay, follow me." you can’t help but notice the shape of her ass under her lab coat as she walks in front of you. wow, you think, that ass.
she directs you into a small room containing a computer. “the directions are on the screen. please follow the instructions, and i will be back to check on your progress in 10 minutes.” and at that, she leaves the room.
you get comfortable in the chair in front of the computer and click on the screen to begin the experiment. “do you give the researcher consent to conduct this experiment on you?” the screen says. that’s weird. i don’t even know what the experiment is. oh well. you shrug off the slight feeling of unease you get from that question and click “yes, i give consent.”
the experiment begins with a short demographic questionnaire, pretty basic stuff. age, gender, nationality, sexual identity, etc. but then the last question of the survey catches you off guard: “what is your favorite type of pornography?” with the following choices: lesbian, blowjob, reality, anal, and bondage. you’re really confused but go along with it and answer honestly: blowjob.
the next screen says “you are going to watch a short pornographic film classified under the category you selected as your highest preference. to continue, press enter.”
what the fuck? …i mean, okay. for science. you press enter.
the screen then switches to a video of a gorgeous girl in her mid-twenties wearing nothing but heels and a lab coat making out with what appears to be a college aged male. you watch as she sensually kisses his neck and takes his shirt off. she teases him with slow kisses all the way down his body until she gets to his waistline. then she unbuttons and unzips his jeans and pulls his thick cock out of his restricting boxer briefs. she licks up and down the shaft of his penis, taking extra care to swirl her tongue around the tip, slowly at first, and then picks up speed. she finally puts his cock in her mouth, first the tip, then all the way. she uses her hands to pump the bottom of his shaft, as her head bobs skillfully up and down, faster and faster..
you hear a knock on the door. SHIT. it’s been ten minutes. lost in the fantastic porn, you totally forgot where you were. at this point you have a RAGING boner, and you’ve been unconsciously stroking it through your pants this whole time. “just a second!” you shout, as you try to pause or minimize or do anything to get that porn off the screen.
it’s the same research assistant, and she comes right in anyways. caught red handed. or dick-in-hand-ed. “no! don’t exit that screen, you’ll mess up the experiment!” she says quickly as she sees what you’re trying to do. you feel yourself turn red and the blood rush to your face. unfortunately that doesn’t get rid of the blood rushing to your dick. you quickly throw your hands to your pants to cover up your boner but it’s pointless, really. she knows exactly what you’re doing.
she walks over to where you’re seated and sits on the computer table right in front of you. you think you caught a glimpse of her bare pussy under her lab coat as she sat down, but you can’t be sure. you’re probably just seeing things because you’re horny as fuck.
"now for the verbal portion of the experiment. or should i say, the oral part?" she smiles coyly. you laugh nervously, and try to disguise your lust. you can’t get your boner to go away no matter hard you try because in that lab coat she is so damn sexy, just like the girl in the video.
"you’re familiar with the Likert scale? 1 being strongly disagree, 7 being strongly agree?" she asks. you’re confused for a moment, because you could swear it was pronounced ly-kert but you heard her say lick-ert. was that intentionally laden with innuendo, or an innocent mispronunciation?
"i’m going to give you a list of statements, and you give me your numerical likert scale rating. ’i am very horny after watching that video.’ be honest, your responses are confidential."
"6. agree," you reply. she seems to scoot a little closer towards you.
“‘while viewing, i fantasized that i was in the scenario of the video’”
"5. somewhat agree." you notice the porn is still blaring loudly from the computer behind her.
she’s got a devious little half smile on that sexy face of hers. “‘i wish a hot research assistant in nothing but a lab coat and heels would suck my dick, too.’”
"really? are you being serious right now?"
"this is for research purposes."
"okay fine. 7. strongly agree."
“‘i want to fuck the research assistant sitting right in front of me.’ 1-7?”
"ten. absolutely, extremely, strongly agree."
at that, she slides off the table and straddles over you in the chair. she kisses you passionately. you can feel her tongue dance around yours as your lips connect. she kisses you gently all the way up your jawline to your ear, and down your neck. on your neck she lingers, kissing, licking, sucking, biting, wildly enough to send chills down your spine, but gentle enough to not leave a mark. you’ve never felt such expert kisses before. she unbuttons your shirt without a lapse in her rhythm. you can hardly handle yourself anymore so you try to pull her back up to your lips, but she resists. instead of coming back to kiss your lips, she moves down your neck and on to the length of torso, delivering kisses that make you tingle all the way down. she lingers just below your belly button and above your waistline, teasing you with little licks and kisses.
"i want to fulfill your fantasy." she says, as she looks up at you seductively, simultaneously unbuttoning your pants. she takes them off of you, and you realize you’re sitting vulnerably naked in a small room in the psych building on campus. at this point you don’t care. you can feel your dick throb every time she so much as glances at it.
she kneels in front of you, and unbuttons her lab coat. you were right earlier, she isn’t wearing anything underneath. her nice, perky tits look back at you. she leans over and kisses your shaft gently, only to tease you. slowly, she licks your dick from bottom to top, and swirls her tongue softly around the tip. if you weren’t so lost in pleasure, you would have marveled at how talented she is, and how this is exactly like the porn you just watched. but you just let out a quiet groan and roll your head back.
before you know it, she has the entirety of your penis in her mouth. she is no longer gently teasing you, but vigorously sucking your cock. she moans in pleasure as she pumps your dick with her mouth and hands. she seems to be enjoying this almost as much as you are.
you can’t just sit there passively. you brush her hair back out of her face and hold her head with both of your hands. you don’t need to thrust her head onto your dick though, because she is literally doing all the work for you. and she’s enjoying it. every so often she takes it out of her mouth and licks you up and down, spending a little time on everything, from your balls to the head of your penis.
this is the best head you’ve ever gotten. there’s a beautiful girl in nothing but a lab coat going to town on your dick. you take your eyes off her for a moment to look at the porn still streaming on the computer screen. you can’t help but feel like you are in it, but you note that your girl is even better at what she’s doing than the girl on screen.
she picks up the speed and sucks harder. you can’t take this anymore. you uncontrollably begin to thrust at her, and to your surprise, she loves it. she goes faster, moans louder, and you feel like you’re ready to explode.
"i’m going to cum!" you shout, trying to pull out of her mouth so you can cum anywhere else. but she holds on and sucks you faster and harder than ever before. you can feel yourself fast approaching climax, and suddenly, you explode into her mouth. you’re overcome by the overwhelming pleasure of orgasm as she sucks all of the cum out of you.
you need a minute or two to recover from the powerful orgasm you just had, before your breathing and heart rate go back to normal.
"i am so sorry, i tried to pull out.." you start when you finally catch your breath, but she stops you.
she visibly swallows what looks like a whole mouthful, licks her lips, and says, “don’t worry about it. i love it. plus it makes for easy clean up!” she stands and buttons her lab coat back up.
"so, what’s this experiment supposed to be about anyways?" you ask, half joking. you figure it can’t be a real experiment at this point. "aren’t you supposed to debrief me?"
"don’t worry about it. besides, i already debriefed you." she winks, and throws you your pants and underwear. "now here, rebrief before my advisor finds you."
One thing about me is I tend to give away all of me, and dedicate time, energy, and emotion into another person, and put my heart out on a platter for someone to do with what they will. And the case always seems to be that I’m not even given a chance. It does wonders on lowering the self-esteem, but deep down I know I’m worth a shot. And it sucks that no one ever gives me the time of day, or bothers to get to know me and give me a chance. Under all the crazy, I think I could be quite the catch. But no one ever sees that.
i know i’m being overdramatic. i get it. i recognize that. maybe it’s because i always set my hopes and expectations too high. maybe it’s because i tend fall for the wrong people. maybe i’m vulnerable because i give all of myself away at the slightest sign of hope.
but is too much to ask to feel special sometimes? for someone to consider me an important part of his life? for someone to feel the same way for me as i do for him, or even just a fraction of that?
i feel so disposable. easily replaced, easily left behind and forgotten. easy to disregard and put aside. easy to play with and use. easy to take advantage of.
see, i was under the impression that i WAS something special. that he and i had something special. you don’t just meet and click with anyone that quickly. you don’t fuck just anyone like that. you don’t go on seemingly romantic adventures with just anyone like that.
i was probably just too quick to jump to conclusions and let my emotions and affection get the best of me, scaring him off. i get it. i can be overwhelming. i’d probably scare anyone remotely sane off. i fuck a lot of things up by feeling too much. that’s nothing new.
but it’s just the fact that he acted so casual about it. like i know i was god damn obvious about how i felt. no one who doesn’t have strong feelings for you would message you so goddamned often, constantly trying to spend time with you. he must have known how i felt. anyone with eyes or half a brain could see it. so when i asked if he’d been with anyone since me and he said “eh, a couple” in the most casual tone of voice, you could only imagine how much that must have stabbed. there was no embarrassment or shame or even defensiveness in his tone. it was so nonchalant. that probably hurt the most.
disposable. he could have said that in any other tone of voice and it would’ve been better. not good, but better. but the sound of it as if it’s not even important really made me feel like i mean nothing.
dispose of me as you will. it wouldn’t be the first time. one of these days i’ll learn my lesson and quit exposing my vulnerable heart to those who will take it for granted and throw it away.