rape culture

(potential trigger warning)

I want to live in a world where I don’t have to be scared to walk down the street alone at night. I want to live in a place where my choice of clothing is not an invitation to be objectified. A place where the first question asked to a victim of sexual assault isn’t “were you drinking?” “were you alone?” or worst of all, “what were you wearing?” A place where it doesn’t take a serious incidence of gang rape for the community to realize that sexual assault is a real issue. I want to live in a world where sexual assault ISN’T an issue. 

"Rape" and "culture" are two words that should never be used together. "Rape culture" should NEVER be a thing. That phrase is disgusting. Tragically, though, that is the culture we live in, and we have to face that reality by teaching girls to carry pepper spray and take self-defense lessons and dress modestly and travel in groups, because god forbid if something were to happen to a girl, she must have been unprepared or done something wrong or have been "asking for it" somehow. 

We put so much time, effort, and money into teaching girls how to avoid being sexually assaulted and be safe, putting more lighting in the streets, and increasing our police force. While this is great and is definitely a step forward, how about we take a different approach? Start teaching us (boys, girls and everyone else alike) that a lonely, drunk, “slutty” girl on the street is not an “opportunity” or a “target” to take advantage of? Teach us that “I/she/he was drunk” is never an excuse for sexual violence? 

Continuing to perpetuate the idea that women need to be prepared in case of attack (which is always a good preventative measure, i’m definitely not encouraging otherwise) simultaneously perpetuates the idea that sexual violence just happens. That it’s okay, and it’s a normal thing that you can expect if you’re UNprepared. And gives potential sexual offenders the idea that their victims deserved it, because they weren’t making good decisions. 

STOP RAPE CULTURE. Stop blaming victims of sexual assault for their attack, as if it’s not already traumatizing enough. Stop slut-shaming, as if a girl’s sexuality or choice of outfit dehumanizes her in any way. Stop the bullshit. 

(p.s. I don’t want to disregard the fact that anyone can be a victim of sexual violence, men included, but a vast majority of cases, including the two of this past weekend on our campus, are committed by a man/men on a woman.)

youre-the-universe asked:

i just got into UCSB and i'll probably be attending in the fall, so i have a few questions [: how are the freshman dorms? like are they doubles, triples, bathroom situation etc. do people mainly hookup or are there actual relationships there too? because from what i've heard, it's mainly hookups haha. and how is greek life? obviously you don't need it to party, but i hear they do philanthropies and socials which i think sound fun. thanks!! [:

congrats! it depends what dorm you’re in. i’m in santa catalina (everyone calls it ft) which is the off-campus dorm. these rooms are set up suite style, so it’s two rooms connected with a bathroom. it’s really nice to have our bathroom in our room! i think santa catalina used to be all doubles, but my class was so big, that every other room is a triple, so the suite has 5 people. i got lucky enough to be in a double, but tripling isn’t as awful as you’d think. i really recommend putting santa catalina first choice! the other dorms are slightly smaller, and almost every room is a triple. none of the other freshman dorms are suite style, so there’s usually one bathroom for a whole floor or wing of a floor.

there’s a lot of hooking up, but i’ve seen relationships around too! it’s definitely doable if that’s what you’re looking for haha everyone is different 

i’m not in the greek system, it’s not really my thing, but my friends who are in sororities love it! and sometimes i’m a little jealous that they have pretty fun socials or like date parties and theme parties. if you are considering greek life at all, you should rush! you could always drop out during rush week if you’re not into it!

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top down on the drive home? i think yes. peace out #ucsb ✌

top down on the drive home? i think yes. peace out #ucsb ✌

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Anonymous asked:

best place to study abroad from ucsb?....your really pretty....i come from a school of exceptionally all skinny, put together, and pretty girls... is it the same at ucsb? ...i hope not

i don’t know about studying abroad! i’m only a first year, and most people study abroad in their third year. but i’m sure someone will have a good answer for you! 

thank you :) well that is the stereotype for SB. if you check collegeprowler, we apparently have A+ girls and A+ guys. hahaha. but as most stereotypes go, it’s there for a reason, but a majority of people don’t fit into it. while you probably will encounter the occasional gorgeous and skinny prissy bitch here, you probably will anywhere, and most people aren’t like that. so don’t even worry :)

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Anonymous asked:

whats the weather like at ucsb ...would you pick sdsu over ucsb...how is the sense of community because i heard sports wasn't big there? what are the worst thing about it

the weather is overall great. it’s typical southern california weather, so there isn’t much difference between the weather at SD and SB. we have our rainy days on rare occasions, but it doesn’t normally drop below 50 degrees and typically is in the 60s or 70s in fall and winter.

i chose UCSB over SDSU because it’s ranked higher academically, and it’s in the UC system instead of the cal state system. there are a lot of athletics here, but we don’t have a football team. ehh. we make up for it by going to soccer games! we have strong gaucho pride for our men’s soccer team, and everyone throws tortillas onto the field :) 

worst things about it? i can’t even think of any. well i guess some of my friends have trouble getting classes or passing classes, but that’s because they’re in really difficult majors. it is pretty competitive academically (contrary to popular belief). 

to be completely honest, the worst thing about it is we’re going to have to leave this place after graduation.

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k-chocho asked:

Hi, I got admitted to UCSB and I have some few questions~ I'm currently debating between UCSD and UCSB (and probably UCLA if I got in luckily) the only thing that keeps bugging me is UCSB's party school reputation... I mean, I know I don't have to party if I don't want to, but will I fit in if I don't? I'm kind of anti-social... also, you said that UCSB wasn't your first choice, but what made you go eventually? Thanks for your time! :)

hi! congrats on SD and SB, these are great schools! and good luck on UCLA! LA was my first choice actually, and i didn’t get accepted. but i knew i didn’t have the highest of chances anyways, so it wasn’t too much of a downer. i was stuck between UCI and UCSB, and i chose SB for the location and environment! nothing is better than going to a school walking distance from the beach, with a beautiful view of the santa ynez mountains on the other side :)

you definitely will fit in perfectly fine if you don’t party. the option is there, but it’s perfectly acceptable to not party also. it can’t be everyone’s thing! nobody is gonna judge you for not drinking, as long as you don’t judge them for drinking. it’s a really friendly environment. plus if you do end up feeling left out, like if all of the people you end up living with are out partying on friday nights, there are other things to do! the dorms put together lots of little programs on friday and saturday nights (usually with free food!) for people who just don’t feel like going out that night. and there are lots of ways to meet people or get involved other than partying. 

good luck in making your decision! :)

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amberyllium asked:

Hey so you go to UCSB? :D if you wouldn't mind, I'd really appreciate if you answered these questions. Okay I visited UCSB earlier this year and I absolutely loved it, I could totally see myself there! The only thing that concerns me is the hardcore party school reputation. Does the partying get in the way of studying, or will I find peace and quiet in the dorms? Are the people nice? I'm just trying to deside between UCSB and UCD and I don't know what to do xD Thanks so much!

hi! the people here are very nice, especially when you first get here! if you dorm, the great thing is everyone is in the same situation as you, so everyone is willing to make new friends and socialize!

the partying isn’t as much of a problem as it’s made out to be. it’s DEFINITELY there, like if you want to party you have that option, but if you don’t party it’s just as easy to avoid it. i’m in one of the louder dorms, so sometimes people’s noise can get distracting, but usually people are only making a lot of noise on friday and saturday nights, and if you really need to, there are study rooms or the library to go to, which are always quiet. and you probably won’t need to be studying during typical partying hours anyways :)

of course i’m biased so i’m going to say choose SB over davis! aside from being ever so slightly higher ranked in academics, our campus and location are unbeatable. who wouldn’t want the opportunity to go to a college on the beach? 

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schlahty asked:

So you said we may ask you about UCSB?! My only concern is that people drop out far too much due to excessive partying. Does it really come down to people's lack of self control, or is it inexplicably raging all the time?

where did you hear that? collegeprowler says 92% of students return after their first year. honestly, it’s not hard to control the partying. if you want to party it’s definitely there, but if you don’t, you can avoid it. and you can party in moderation. i suppose if people do drop out due to excessive partying, that’s a matter of their own self control. but so far i haven’t met anyone who couldn’t handle it! 

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